Planning for Retirement as an LGBTQ+ Couple: What My Spouse and I Are Doing Now

When my spouse and I talk about retirement, the conversation always goes deeper than dollars and cents. Yes, we’re thinking about how much we’ll need to save and where we’ll draw income from—but we’re also thinking about the life we want to live, the community we want to be part of, and how to feel confident and supported as we age.

As an LGBTQ+ couple, there are unique layers to these conversations. Some are financial, some are legal, and some are deeply personal. I wanted to share a bit about how we’re approaching our retirement planning—not as a perfect blueprint, but as a real example of the decisions and considerations that come up when you're building a plan that fits your life.

Where We’re Starting: Our Vision for the Future

We’ve spent a lot of time talking about what “retirement” actually looks like for us. Do we want to stay in our current community? Do we want to travel? Volunteer? Part-time work in a different field? The vision will probably change over time, but getting on the same page has helped us figure out what we’re really planning for. It’s not just about stopping work—it’s about having the freedom to choose what’s next.

Looking Ahead at Social Security

Even though retirement is still a long way off, we've started to think about what our future income sources might look like. Social Security will likely be one part of the picture, and while we aren't making any decisions now, we know that timing and strategy will matter down the road. We're also keeping an eye on policy changes and making sure we understand the benefits we're each eligible for, especially as a same-sex married couple. Our focus for now is building a strong foundation of savings and investments that, when the time comes, we'll have more flexibility and choices.

Thinking About Health and Long-Term Care

We’ve also been honest about what we want—and what we worry about—when it comes to health care later in life. Like many LGBTQ+ folks, we’re mindful of how inclusive providers and care settings are. That’s one reason we’re looking into long-term care insurance and setting aside funds specifically for health expenses. We want the ability to choose care that aligns with our values and feels safe.

Where We’ll Live and Who We’ll Be Around

This part of the conversation has surprised us the most. We've talked about whether we want to age in place, move somewhere warmer, or even live in a community that’s explicitly LGBTQ+-friendly. Having a network—chosen family, friends, a support system—matters a lot to us. And that’s something we're factoring into the financial side too: housing costs, moving expenses, and the potential trade-offs of different locations.

Putting Legal Protections in Place

We have our legal documents in order—wills, powers of attorney, health care proxies—because we know how important it is to have things clearly laid out. This is especially true for LGBTQ+ couples. We want to be the ones making decisions for each other if something unexpected happens, not leaving it to default laws that don’t reflect our relationship.

Coordinating Income Sources

Finally, we’re working on the strategy for how we’ll actually draw income in retirement—from retirement accounts, Social Security, and other savings. It’s not just about having enough money—it’s about making sure we’re taking income in a way that’s tax-efficient and sustainable. We’ve also talked about what happens if one of us outlives the other, and how to plan for that with care and intention.

Where You Can Start

If you haven’t had these conversations yet—or if you’re not sure where to begin—I get it. It can feel like a lot. But the good news is, you don’t have to figure it out alone. We use a financial planning tool with our clients that can help you map out your goals, see where you stand, and start making informed decisions.

And if you want to talk through your vision, your numbers, or even your uncertainties, I’d be honored to be a resource for you.

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Disclosures

Content in this material is for general information only and not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.